Spanking Styles

Several things prompt me to try to define spanking styles. Yes, I know this has been attempted before. Sometimes in great detail, all of which fall a little off my mark. So here are my definitions.


Be assured that my personal prejudices are evident in these definitions. I also understand that while I strongly resist external guidance in my life, there are a great many people who want guidance and want to be cared for from a early age.


Intensity may range from light to severe in all cases.

Fun – Just that, fun. Most probably erotic fun. You don’t look for reasons to spank, nor do you do behave in a petulant way to earn a spanking. You can ask for a spanking. You can name your poison, dress, position, implement, number of licks, etc. Or you can leave it all up to your spanker. You may submit to your spanker in what ever way is comfortable to you. You may be what we call a bedroom submissive. There is no need of a dom/sub dynamic to be going on.

Submission – You have a strong need to submit to your spanker. You need to feel that they are in charge – often at all times, but especially so when you are being spanked. Your need to submit is the keystone of your spankings.


Faux Punishment/Discipline [*] – You may like your spankings to be fun or to satisfy a need to submit or both. Your spankings need to be staged as punishment/discipline to be really enjoyed. Your behavior is not a part of your spankings.


Punishment/Discipline – In one or more aspects of your life, you do not wish act as an adult – all the time. You need someone else to hold you accountable. You may need to act out and be punished. If your spanker lets an offence slide, you may become impossible to live with until you are taken to task. Weakness of your spanker can create chaos in your life.

[*]   I see no real difference between punishment and discipline.
To discipline thus means to instruct a person to follow a particular code of conduct “order.”
Punishment is the practice of imposing something unpleasant on a person in response to disobedience, defiance, or behavior deemed morally wrong by another.


Kaelah clarifies my thinking for me.


If “girls” / “boys” / submissives use the relationship to grow from it and to build up self-confidence through the knowledge that they have a daddy / mummy / master / mistress or HOH who loves and bolsters them, I consider that to be a good thing. And if the top gets something out of helping her or his partner to grow, I think that’s a good thing as well.

There is another possible way of using … power dynamics, though, … What I’m talking about is the combination of a bottom who doesn’t want to grow up at all and a top who doesn’t want a grown-up, equal partner, either. To my mind, this form of relationship is very unhealthy and can lead to quite horrible situations…

Thanks Kaelah! I think you are correct it could be positive. We have not seen one, but that does not mean they do not exist. 










Bonnie had a Brunch question shortly after I wrote this. I think the classifications of spanking styles are similair. She garnered 32 responses. By far, most people wanted discipline as a part of their spankings. The breakdown was:
2 for   2
9 for   4 
20 for 5
1 for   6




Of interest to me, was the Bloggers that I most identify with were 4’s, the same as us. I may never understand how discipline could be fun. Or maybe faux discipline can be fun??


Another poll Bonnie did in 2010 had far more votes and possibly different results.


Why spank? [1349 votes total]
Discipline (243)

 18%
Play (252)

 19%
Erotic (280)

 21%
Maintenance (169)

 13%
Stress Relief (222)

 16%
Why Not? (183)

 14%



While Play and Erotic slightly bested Discipline, only one choice was allowed. I really could not define Maintenance and Stress Relief as being different from the first three.