Growing Up Jim – IV

This the fourth of a series by a regular reader.

I know I never told you about my GF’s only two discipline spankings.  I honestly cannot remember what she had done to warrant either spanking.  I do remember they were strictly her idea and done at her request sometime in her mid-20’s.  By this time we had been using spanking as sexual foreplay for about 5 years and had our own paddle (I have sent you a photograph previously). I described mom’s spanking procedure in detail and after some self-deliberation; she decided she deserved a paddle / belt spanking.

I told her that mom’s spankings were much more painful and severe than anything we had ever done and that the paddle mom used was considerably more “stingy” than ours – “OK, I deserve it” was her response and asked me to use mom’s paddle if I could get it.  Since we lived close by, a visit to mom’s house did not arouse any suspicion and neither did my trip to the basement to retrieve a tool (along with the paddle). I wondered what mom would have said (or done!) if she caught me snitching the paddle.  I think I told you that the last spanking I got from my mom was when I was 27.

By the time I had retrieved mom’s paddle it was a few days after GF’s initial request.  I announced that I had everything needed and asked if she still wanted me to spank her.  She said yes, but requested that we wait until Friday night so she would not have to sit all day at work on the following day – I agreed.

Friday night came and following dinner she suggested that we both take a shower and then I should spank her.

We showered together with a minimum of inappropriate touching and then retired to the bedroom where she had set out a wooden chair with mom’s paddle and my widest leather belt lying on the seat.

She stripped out of her bathrobe and bent over the chair and simply said, “I’m ready for my spanking.”  I swatted her fanny with the paddle which drew a short gasp – “Is that as hard as your mom spanks you?” she demanded.  “I want a spanking like your mom would give you!”, so I proceeded to land 20+ very firm swats on her bare bottom which left her gasping and shedding a few tears.

A minute later she had composed herself and said she was ready for the belt.  I had never delivered as hard a spanking as I just had and her fanny looked very red when I started with the belt.  It was much redder when I finished and marked with triangles where the belt tip had landed.  She was crying freely when she stood up and thanked me for spanking her.  Sore bottom or not, she was very aroused and we retired to bed with her on top and me rubbing her hot, tender bottom for the duration.  She wore the little triangular marks for 2 days before they faded in time for her to go back to work on Monday.

Her second disciplinary spanking was essentially a copy of this one, except she toyed with the idea of getting a belt / switch spanking until I delivered one stroke of a switch onto her bare fanny as a demonstration – she decided that a paddle / belt spanking was all she really deserved. Again, I don’t remember her perceived offense which warranted her second discipline spanking.

These two spankings must have really “taught her” better behavior since it has been almost 40 years since she “deserved a spanking” for discipline.  There have been a lot of spankings for both her and me since then; always bare, usually with a paddle and always followed by sex of some variety which ended in orgasm for both of us.  “The ultimate purpose of a spanking is pleasure!” – even for bad girls.  

This is a photo of our very first paddle.  This is the one that I made specifically at Wendys request 40 or so years ago and the only one that she has ever liked to be applied to her bare bottom.  For her, it is my hand or this paddle and neither one in too great a quantity or force – a just barely blushing fanny is what she likes. 

This paddle was hastily made using some 1/8″ peg board covered on both sides with artist’s matte board, taped around the edges, hand lettered and decorated with a photo of a spankable female bottom cut out from a Playboy magazine.

I never noticed this before, but “fannies” is misspelled on this paddle!

Usually, when it is brought out there are other things on our minds…..and proof reading is not one of them! I am amazed that Wendy has never noticed it – she is a stickler for spelling.

This picture shows the 3 paddles which we use – these are the ones which have withstood the test of time. We have tried other implements over the years but have always returned to paddles after brief experiments with other things. 

From left to right:

This is a “fly back” paddle – the 50’s & 60’s kid’s toy which supposedly developed kids’ eye / hand co-ordination by hitting a small rubber ball attached by a rubber band to one side of the paddle.  As a general rule, the rubber band broke quickly and the resulting paddle was usurped by a parent and used to refine their eye / fanny co-ordination on their kid’s bottoms.

Wendy and I bought this when we were in our early 30’s at a yard sale for a quarter from a middle aged couple – the woman looked at us somewhat knowingly and blushed (flushed maybe?) a bit during the sale – she had to make change for us – we always wondered how many times this paddle had smacked her or their bare bottoms! I think Wendy and the older woman had that female radar thing going on and they both knew exactly what that paddle had been, and would be, used for! Why they were selling it?…I guess they found something that they liked better.  Or, maybe they put it in the sale just to see who would buy it, perhaps if purchased by an acquaintance or close by neighbor they could develop a relationship later.  I did notice that the woman pointed us out to her husband as we were leaving – something was definitely up! 

By the time we bought this, I was being paddled as least as frequently as Wendy, and frequently we would both be paddled in a single session.  I initiated this purchase at the garage sale, since our first paddle was not really stingy enough for me – this was undoubtedly the very best 25 cent investment we have ever made! 

This is the same model as utilized by my mother in my youth, except this one has been modified for “variety”. As shown on the side which is up in the photo – I found a piece of heavy tanned leather and glued it to one side of the paddle.  This added a bit of weight to the paddle and provides a choice for the spanker – leather on one side, wood on the other.  Both sides sting – I maintain that the leather side stings a bit less than the wood side.

This paddle is too intense for Wendy, it is for me only and always has been.  It is kind of cool in that Wendy can “secretly” change paddles during a session by simply flipping the paddle in her hand which adds an element of surprise – I like it!

The center white paddle is our original.

On the right is an oak paddle which I made about 15 years ago. I did not set out to make a paddle, but sometimes things happen – happy accidents so to speak.  I had recently purchased a power planer and was practicing on some scrap oak left over from some project.  I started with a piece of 1x oak and had planed it down to about 3/8″ – 5/16″ thickness.  As is the case with much handheld power plane work, the thickness is not perfectly even – so this piece of wood tapers a bit.

I was about to toss the wood into my kindling pile when my active mind envisioned a paddle!  Cutting to shape, gluing of pine grips, further shaping and sanding followed and this paddle was born. Pine grips and a red oak paddle – soft on the hand, hard on the red fanny – that’s how it should be!

This is a side view of the oak paddle showing the taper and grips.This paddle has a LOT of sting (at least as measured by MY built insting-o-meter).  Soon after I finished this paddle, I presented it to Wendy andrequested a 50 swat spanking – she complied, I stuck it out, but it was too much.  Since that time we still use it occasionally, but just fewer swats.

Two of these paddles got used on me last Sunday night – I had requested (and got) a repeat of my last birthday’s spanking – 21 by hand; 21 with the fly back paddle; and 21 with the oak paddle – all bare as always! It is unusual for us to change paddles in the middle of a spanking but it added some interest back on my birthday and was worth a repeat.  As usual, other activities followed my spanking.


We parked in a remote location. Amazingly we have a cell signal. We are perched at 9,400 feet over the Cathedral Valley in Capital Reef NM in Utah. It’s a special place. Few even know of it.

I wanted to do at least one post this week. Here a smorgasbord of a dozen images depicting women getting spanked.

The effects of the evil bath brush
Belinda seems to be a bit bored
It was Diana’s birthday, and her boyfriend knew how to arouse her. Diana gasped with delight as his caresses alternated with licks of his belt across her out-thrust buttocks. Soon she was as wet as fuck and begging for him to take her.

The evil bath brush again

This could be photoshopped for all I know. What makes it interesting to me is Grandma in the background.

Father/Daughter? Real?
Father/Daughter? Birthday Spanking? Who is in the foreground?
Fun on the balcony. Note her arm is totally relaxed

It’s My Birthday

Back in the day, I would give a lass a paddle party. I would lay out my entire toy bag and allow her to choose the ones she wanted used on her. They never choose the small or lightweight paddles. They went for the heavy artillery.

“This one please, Sir.” “OK, put it to the side, with the belt and the ruler….. Pick one more and we can get started!”

You Have To Ask Them

This post came about from correspondence with a reader about how do you find women to spank. So this is all his fault. I gave him some personal examples from my 40’s and 50’s. I wish I had had the advice when I was younger. Past experience does not foretell future results

I made good money in the Navy playing cards and I am not a great card player. I always wanted the odds in my favor. So when I did not have liberty, I would wait until the early ones came back. They may not have any money, but I would lend 10 for 14. Pinochle was the common game. They were tipsy and the pickings were easy.

I did the same at parties. When the alcohol was flowing and the girls were giggling. I would approach a group of girls, never a single one. You are likely to be taken as a creep. Never two either. I had learned as a teen if you asked one of two girls to dance and you were turned down, you had no chance with the other one. Five or more and you will never get a word in. Three seemed to be the magic number.

I usually had one in mind. But I tried not to show my interest. Maybe her bottom was the most appealing. Maybe she had a mischievous smile. Maybe she was bent over a bar with her bottom provocatively sticking out. Like that. I would say something to make them laugh a few times. Then ask some questions, like How do you know the hostess? And LISTEN. It mattered little what they said, I just wanted to show I was interested in what they had to say. If it seemed right I would make a pitch. I always said exactly what I had in mind. As “You are being very naughty and need a good spanking”. Or more bluntly “I would really like to spank you”. She was not always up for it, but if done at a party I was talked about, and once I spanked another woman who was told I wanted to spank her friend. I never knew what was going to happen, I would just toss it out and see who went for it. As soon I said it, they would all look at each other to see if they all heard the same thing. I never was slapped, had a drink thrown on me, etc. One would usually bite. It might not lead to my spanking her, but we both knew she was turning it over in her mind. It was an intimate moment.

Our neighbors had a party 2/3 times a week. The wife was always asking people to stop by for a toddy. And they did. Usually 20 or so a night. I knew very few of them and never expected to see many of them again. So it was a target-rich environment. After I made my pitch I would usually see one of them talking to another gal and looking, even pointing in my direction. I knew the word had been passed. Only once did I score with a ricochet girl. She approached me. We went across the street to my house and I warmed her up. She melted and hugged me. And that gave me a high. I only saw her once after that and we only exchanged pleasantries. She was married.

I had to be more circumspect at any gathering of my wife’s fellow workers. But sometimes I was able to engineer a safe approach.

Shifting gears a little here are two examples of my impulse behavior. We were at a yacht club. Post racing there is an attitude adjustment period. There was an auburn-tressed gal with freckles named Cindy whose smile would light up a room. She had recently married a guy who was not all that friendly and was not well-liked. Cindy and I, along with several others were hanging out near the kegs. For some reason, I decided to spank Cindy. She most cooperatively bent over my leg and I proceeded to spank her bikini-clad bottom. I don’t recall her husband being in the immediate group, but he appeared after I had spanked her a few times. It later turned out that he was a control freak and was physically abusive to her. Divorce soon followed. In conversations I had with her after the divorce it became apparent she was submissive. The next I knew of him, he had remarried and was pedaling Life Coach services.

I mentioned our across-the-street neighbors above. We were at their house almost daily for cocktails and often dinner. He was a marvelous cook. One evening a couple they were close with came over to watch a game on TV. He always brought a six-pack and would sit, drain every bottle and then leave. So he, our neighbor, and I are sitting in the den watching the game. His wife came in and sat next to me on the couch. I found out it was her birthday and naturally proceeded to spank her over my lap. Her husband was 10 feet away and I don’t think he even noticed. After about 20 spanks I came to my senses and stopped spanking her. She told me it was the only spanking she had ever had, gave me a hug, and went back to the kitchen with the other girls. I never saw her again. Aggressive cancer took her shortly after that. Not everything has a fairy tale ending.

I could go on, but even when nothing happened we both enjoyed the moment. Women like to be spanked.

OK, you asked, she assented. Now you are spanking her and are worried you might be spanking her too hard. Ask her the magic question. “Tell me the truth, do you think I am being too hard on you?” I never once got a Yes answer.

You are a guy and you want a woman to spank you. You can ask directly. But, if you come across as a needy wuss, you are probably going to get turned down.

The Strap

Post frequency may be down to 3 or so a week for a time. I am still traveling. I am lazy and the cell signal sometimes suxs.

I accumulated several images of leather straps and I share them with you. So for you pervs who have nothing better to do.

This one is from Devlin O’Neill’s site

This is the strap that Naughty Nora feels

May I have some more

Always liked the shots of hair in motion. Sorta of an exclamation point.

I always liked high waisted skirts with wide belts. I would readily bend over for her.


There are 47 Images in the Spanked folder. Here are the first dozen.

Another “bra” spanking

Getting the cane in a hotel room

Classic Little Debbie

I got Bacall drop seat PJ’s once. Had footsies and puppy dog design.

Mom is not happy, daughter is less happy

Another Mom/Daughter

I really like her facial expression. This makes me recall when. I would try to put some butterflies in a gal. It never worked. They were always up for whatever evil I tried to conjure. This image is from Gloria’s Garden.

Some wag captioned this one: I have to say that I like the color of your bottom cheeks, Mom. I want you to stand in the corner while I think about giving you a second dose with your own hairbrush

I don’t think there is enough head room for me to stand on this set.

Another PJ spanking. She may have footies.

Lets get those panties down

That’s a wrap. Until next time.

“How do I find a woman who wants me to spank her?”

A reader writes:

Many men seem to ask the question, “How do I find a woman who wants me to spank her?”

(Although the above problem used to be solvable, the question, “How do I find a woman to spank me?” Is quite another matter and often involves spending substantial amounts of money or promise of unholy matrimony.)

I am old enough to remember Shadow Lane personals and CompuServe and AOL forms. Those places were teeming with women seeking men to spank them.   There was a pretty simple formula to get them to choose you. Basically, you had to prove you were safe, gainfully employed and would treat them with respect. They also liked status and success, although they didn’t define it like most of us would. It was pretty easy.   

My competition was largely dweebs who posted sexually explicit pictures of themselves and employed disrespectful language promising Spanking women into oblivion and then “fucking them silly” instead of asking questions.

Yes, I speak from experience.  I met as many women as I wanted to, which was probably four or five over a period of 18 months. I finally got tired of it and stopped. Many of them were married, which since I wasn’t having sex with them, was not especially morally concerning to me. However, I did fear for my safety. One was a gun collector and the last one’s husband was a police officer! I can only imagine how that could have ended up. 

These women were all highly sexual and were so intent on being spanked and so deprived that they were great fun to be with and easy to get them to take a moderately hard nude spanking with a paddle.    This was not my idea, but theirs’s. The most frequent request I had from them was to go faster, harder, and longer.   
I’m certainly not bragging about this but I do know how to talk to people and find out what they want and then describe it back to them in their language. That’s key to any kind of influence going back to Cicero. (Cicero with some Roman guy, never mind.)

Every guy that I read about, with maybe two exceptions so far are holding forth on something they’ve never done.  

I’m not looking for anyone because I have two partners. They are both wonderful friends, we have a very clear arrangement that our spanking is friendship and we trade spankings with each other. But, I remain fascinated by the subject of finding women wanting spanking relationships.   

I guess I should qualify my criteria in saying that I wanted women who wanted a relationship, not just one spanking. I think that is unusual. 

I’ve been asking this question everywhere that I thought I might get an answer: “Where do you find these women today that want to be spanked and aren’t crazy?“ 
I know that they are out there.  The obvious place would be Facebook but they censor this sort of thing. Tinder is for hookups and is 90% male. I don’t know if anybody has used lately but I don’t think much of them and I think it’s mostly for serious dating, not spanking.

The challenge we face is that we want to do something that is highly related to sex but not necessarily sexual. It is sexual in a sense, but no one is admitting they want orgasms. I was very clear that I was not after sex but all of the women that I spanked wanted orgasms after they realized I wasn’t going to give them one. Of course, what is a gentleman to do but oblige a lady?   I would consider it, but no intercourse, for all the obvious reasons.

As with most of my writing, I probably expanded two paragraphs into two pages. But I’d really like to know if anyone reading this knows how to find women who want to be spanked without going to public spanking parties?  The people I was interested in and that I spanked did not go to them.

Has anyone had any success personally (not theoretically?).  

thank you,