“How do I find a woman who wants me to spank her?”

A reader writes:

Many men seem to ask the question, “How do I find a woman who wants me to spank her?”


(Although the above problem used to be solvable, the question, “How do I find a woman to spank me?” Is quite another matter and often involves spending substantial amounts of money or promise of unholy matrimony.)


I am old enough to remember Shadow Lane personals and CompuServe and AOL forms. Those places were teeming with women seeking men to spank them.   There was a pretty simple formula to get them to choose you. Basically, you had to prove you were safe, gainfully employed and would treat them with respect. They also liked status and success, although they didn’t define it like most of us would. It was pretty easy.   


My competition was largely dweebs who posted sexually explicit pictures of themselves and employed disrespectful language promising Spanking women into oblivion and then “fucking them silly” instead of asking questions.


Yes, I speak from experience.  I met as many women as I wanted to, which was probably four or five over a period of 18 months. I finally got tired of it and stopped. Many of them were married, which since I wasn’t having sex with them, was not especially morally concerning to me. However, I did fear for my safety. One was a gun collector and the last one’s husband was a police officer! I can only imagine how that could have ended up. 


These women were all highly sexual and were so intent on being spanked and so deprived that they were great fun to be with and easy to get them to take a moderately hard nude spanking with a paddle.    This was not my idea, but theirs’s. The most frequent request I had from them was to go faster, harder, and longer.   
I’m certainly not bragging about this but I do know how to talk to people and find out what they want and then describe it back to them in their language. That’s key to any kind of influence going back to Cicero. (Cicero with some Roman guy, never mind.)


Every guy that I read about, with maybe two exceptions so far are holding forth on something they’ve never done.  


I’m not looking for anyone because I have two partners. They are both wonderful friends, we have a very clear arrangement that our spanking is friendship and we trade spankings with each other. But, I remain fascinated by the subject of finding women wanting spanking relationships.   


I guess I should qualify my criteria in saying that I wanted women who wanted a relationship, not just one spanking. I think that is unusual. 

I’ve been asking this question everywhere that I thought I might get an answer: “Where do you find these women today that want to be spanked and aren’t crazy?“ 
I know that they are out there.  The obvious place would be Facebook but they censor this sort of thing. Tinder is for hookups and is 90% male. I don’t know if anybody has used match.com lately but I don’t think much of them and I think it’s mostly for serious dating, not spanking.


The challenge we face is that we want to do something that is highly related to sex but not necessarily sexual. It is sexual in a sense, but no one is admitting they want orgasms. I was very clear that I was not after sex but all of the women that I spanked wanted orgasms after they realized I wasn’t going to give them one. Of course, what is a gentleman to do but oblige a lady?   I would consider it, but no intercourse, for all the obvious reasons.


As with most of my writing, I probably expanded two paragraphs into two pages. But I’d really like to know if anyone reading this knows how to find women who want to be spanked without going to public spanking parties?  The people I was interested in and that I spanked did not go to them.

Has anyone had any success personally (not theoretically?).  

thank you,
John

Best Lines While OTK

The first four have been uttered by Bacall

“Now remember, I’m very delicate today”

“Why don’t you save yourself for later?”

“You call that a spanking?”

“Have you started yet?”.

“You’re making a BIG mistake! Huge!”

“How ’bout a ham sandwich?”

Looking at the carpet: “I gotta get that new vacuum cleaner…”

“Are you sure you wanna do this? ‘Cause if you’re at all in doubt…?”

“Okay. What’s in it for me?”

“You call that a spanking? My butt has hurt more standing on a crosstown bus!”

“If you hurry, I think we can still make the Early Bird special at the diner.”

“What? You want my attention, too?!”

“Have you started yet?”

SMACK!  “One.”

SPANK!  “Two.”

WHACK!  “Buckle my shoe.”

At a party when I paused to change implements, the young lady brightly inquired “What time does the buffet start?”

Bacall’s best line. She was OTK with a friend who had big hands and spanked hard. He had on shorts and she grabbed a handful of his leg hair and said “We are not going to hurt each other are we Mike?”

How about some original music from the Mississippi songwriter Paul Thorn.

It’s called Joanie, The Jehova Witness Stripper.

Readers Decide

Back in February, I posted a short vignette about a paddling. I wanted to revist it and ask you readers to say what happened next.

So read the original post Witnessing A Paddling – An Audition With Ed and then try these questions.

What were Sharon’s memories of her last paddling from her parents? 
I am taking about her thoughts and feelings not the mechanics of a paddling. What was going on in her mind when she learned she was to be paddled. As well as what she was thinking post paddling. I would think it would be best told from a woman’s POV. But what do I know.


Did Mom do the honors or Dad or both?


Did she have a cry and then did her fingers get busy?


Did she have a date?

If so, perhaps he was allowed to come over for a few minutes. Did she tell him about the paddling?  Did his hand fondle her bottom?

Oh, you want Hump Day too?

And you thought the gals put pillows on the bed for decoration.

Bra Spanking – Redux

OK, I am completely nutzoid. In April I posted about my newly discovered penchant or fetish, take your choice, of seeing women in bras spanking or being spanked. You can revisit that post if you want.

I saw this picture on Strict Julie’s [Gee, does she have an imagination]

The picture is blurred, but the sight of her in a bra excites me. I know few of you will get off on the bra, but many of you will wish you were laying on the bed feeling her strap.

It would still be decent picture with her blouse on. It would go down on my scale if she took her bra off, but kept her skirt on. Bra and panties – great. Nude, maybe not so much.

I would not mind being spanked by her

Or this lass

Spank Me

Logging in from Greybull, WY. We stopped at a city park for lunch and the internet. Cell signals are hard to come by here and we plan on being in the area for a week or so. There are three more canyons to photograph.

I noted all three of the posts scheduled for this week are text. I figured you perverts might go Minneapolis on me if I did not show some bottoms spanked.

Number 2 is my fav. She reminds me of someone, thought I can recall who.

This has to be one of my all time favs
From Devlin O’Neill’s blog. Just Perfect

Beth Writes

A cyber-friend of mine and her two sisters were strapped at home by both of her parents until she entered college. She estimates that all of them got the strap three or four times a year. They knew the rules and they knew what to expect if they broke them.

She found men at college to continue the tradition. After graduation she found an older couple to do the honors. She schedules a visit with them several times a year. The really interesting part to me is that she continued the arrangement after she married. Her husband sometimes accompanies her but does not participate. 

Her husband spanks her, but they are fun erotic spankings. She is able to keep the two separate. I say good on her.

She wrote this recently.

My feet kick maddeningly while draped over the arm of a couch. I still visit ‘uncle’ for those reminders of what a leather strap feels like across my bare buttocks. I won’t say I like it, but there is a certain erotic sensuality of feeling my pants sliding south, then that awful burning sting when the strap makes forceful contact with my bare ass. There is always an immediate regret to putting myself over the arm of the couch so willingly, but with my wrists cuffed behind my back and uncle holding me down, I have no choice but to take a very thorough chastising before he lets me go. Corner time is always a bit intense with my stinging bottom, but it’s worth it when hubby takes care of me later. 🙂

 

Coming Out

We got this note from a new reader.

I have read many of your posts.  I see we are a lot alike in our dominant personalities (and spouses) politics and how we view spankings.  I had a female teacher when I was young, that was I suppose was inappropriate with me in regards to spankings. However, I did not then, and do not now, feel victimized.  I enjoyed it.  She spanked me and she had me spank her.  I loved both roles.  She was more playful about it and made it hot and fun.  This went on for an entire school year. Since that school year ended, I have suppressed this desire my entire life.

The only thing I am mad about is until this weekend I had never told anyone about what happened and my desires for spanking.  I told my wife this weekend. I felt angry that this teacher ignited this in me at 12 and until now (50) I have carried this desire inside with shame.  I’ve felt like a freak.  Due to a variety of recent circumstances, including in part this blog, I decided this was not how I wanted to live anymore.  I told my wife, who completely understood and has already taken steps to walk this path with me.  We have been together since we were 15 and I still was not sure how she would take this.  She sees me as her man and not submissive in any way.  Turns out that was all in my head and she does not perceive the desire for this the way I thought she would.
I just wanted to thank you for producing this blog and being part of why I decided to hide this no more.  At least from my wife.  We will see how this progresses…
He posted a full account on his blog, Marriage, Sex And More.