A reader writes:
Many men seem to ask the question, “How do I find a woman who wants me to spank her?”
(Although the above problem used to be solvable, the question, “How do I find a woman to spank me?” Is quite another matter and often involves spending substantial amounts of money or promise of unholy matrimony.)
I am old enough to remember Shadow Lane personals and CompuServe and AOL forms. Those places were teeming with women seeking men to spank them. There was a pretty simple formula to get them to choose you. Basically, you had to prove you were safe, gainfully employed and would treat them with respect. They also liked status and success, although they didn’t define it like most of us would. It was pretty easy.
My competition was largely dweebs who posted sexually explicit pictures of themselves and employed disrespectful language promising Spanking women into oblivion and then “fucking them silly” instead of asking questions.
Yes, I speak from experience. I met as many women as I wanted to, which was probably four or five over a period of 18 months. I finally got tired of it and stopped. Many of them were married, which since I wasn’t having sex with them, was not especially morally concerning to me. However, I did fear for my safety. One was a gun collector and the last one’s husband was a police officer! I can only imagine how that could have ended up.
These women were all highly sexual and were so intent on being spanked and so deprived that they were great fun to be with and easy to get them to take a moderately hard nude spanking with a paddle. This was not my idea, but theirs’s. The most frequent request I had from them was to go faster, harder, and longer.
I’m certainly not bragging about this but I do know how to talk to people and find out what they want and then describe it back to them in their language. That’s key to any kind of influence going back to Cicero. (Cicero with some Roman guy, never mind.)
Every guy that I read about, with maybe two exceptions so far are holding forth on something they’ve never done.
I’m not looking for anyone because I have two partners. They are both wonderful friends, we have a very clear arrangement that our spanking is friendship and we trade spankings with each other. But, I remain fascinated by the subject of finding women wanting spanking relationships.
I guess I should qualify my criteria in saying that I wanted women who wanted a relationship, not just one spanking. I think that is unusual.
I’ve been asking this question everywhere that I thought I might get an answer: “Where do you find these women today that want to be spanked and aren’t crazy?“
I know that they are out there. The obvious place would be Facebook but they censor this sort of thing. Tinder is for hookups and is 90% male. I don’t know if anybody has used match.com lately but I don’t think much of them and I think it’s mostly for serious dating, not spanking.
The challenge we face is that we want to do something that is highly related to sex but not necessarily sexual. It is sexual in a sense, but no one is admitting they want orgasms. I was very clear that I was not after sex but all of the women that I spanked wanted orgasms after they realized I wasn’t going to give them one. Of course, what is a gentleman to do but oblige a lady? I would consider it, but no intercourse, for all the obvious reasons.
As with most of my writing, I probably expanded two paragraphs into two pages. But I’d really like to know if anyone reading this knows how to find women who want to be spanked without going to public spanking parties? The people I was interested in and that I spanked did not go to them.
Has anyone had any success personally (not theoretically?).