After Coffee


After we finished our morning coffee, I asked Bogey, “Do you know what I want to do today?” It could have been anything, but he immediately said, “You want me to paddle you.”  He read my mind, which is kind of scary, but he was correct. I got up, took a shower, and put on a pair of spanking panties.  He told me to pick the paddle/s that I wanted.  My first choice was the “holey” paddle that he made, second choice – well I just couldn’t decide between the “teacher’s” paddle or the “red” paddle, so I took both of them out.  I told him that I would decide which one a little later.  Big smile on Bogey’s face!

Her picks

So the paddling starts and it felt so good – what was he using?  It was his hand then his belt, then back to his hand. Being the kind sensitive person that I am, I told him he should not over-exert himself.  He assured me that would not happen and believe me when I say that it did not happen.  Big smile on my face.  Then he moved on to the “holey’ paddle which was delicious.

He kept taking my panties down to measure the desired “pinkness” factor.  He moved on to the “teacher’s paddle”.  I really started feeling it then and the color went from light pink to medium pink.  After many paddle pops, it was on to the “red paddle” with panties down.  Wow, I really did feel those pops and the color then changed to light red.

Girls Trying To Get Paddled

Two women have told me they tried to get paddled in school. They were both in middle school at the time. One said she and her gf begged to be paddled just like a boy would have been for the same offense. Their pleas went unanswered.

I suspect they were not alone, just honest enough to reveal they tried to get the paddle in school?

Vanilla Spankings had an on-target post on the subject. Here is an excerpt:

Take this exchange between the characters played by Barbara Stanwyck and Joel McCrea in Cecil B. DeMille’s 1939 blockbuster, Union Pacific:

MOLLIE MONAHAN: Did you never know that flirting gets into a woman’s blood like fighting gets into a man’s? Now, a girl begins coquetting to discover if she has the power. Then she goes looking, like a fighter after a bully, for the hardest man to conquer. But ’tis never the man she wants, ’tis the pleasure of bringing him to her feet.

JEFF BUTLER: Till the right man comes along and gives her the spanking she deserves.

MOLLIE MONAHAN: Ah, that’s the man she dreams of.

This entire post on Vanilla Spankings.

Spanking Is Complicated For Most People

Long post with my thoughts on spanking relationships.

Warning: No spanking pictures.

I make no claim that what we enjoy is right for anyone else. My point is that the lack of honest communication and the desire to be submissive may not get you what you want.

Spanking Is Complicated For Most People and that’s because they make it that way. They feel they have to be submissive, so they can’t say what they really want.

I read this and wonder about it.

Yes, it really does hurt. But, as odd as this may sound, the pain is a secondary consideration. What we treasure more are feelings of connectedness, peace, and openness that follow.

Connectedness is a feeling of belonging to or having an affinity with a particular person or group. I suppose belonging to could be a submissive state of mind. And an affinity with a particular person or group could mean you are damn glad to have someone to spank you. All this seems to be overthinking it to me. I like to spank, I like to be spanked. It turns me on. No other rational is needed.

The only thing I have ever said about spanking that may be universally true is that once two people admit they share an interest in spanking that will be the last time they will fully agree on anything related to spanking.

The list of reasons for spanking goes on for novel-length. Atonement for misdeeds, connecting to another, submission, fun, etc. In our case, it’s directly connected to sexual pleasure. Sure, there is a sting, but it’s not perceived as pain to us. The sting goes from our backside to our brain for a little processing and to our front side. When I think of all the other reasons someone that likes to be spanked might have, it’s a wonder that Bacall and I found each other so compatible. We sure as hell did not have a list of spanking traits we wanted in the other when we met.
Disappointment in a spanking.  Yes, sure, it happens for all sorts of reasons. Too hard. Too gentle. Preoccupied. Not in the mood. Didn’t happen. Shouldn’t have happened. Delayed. Not the implement I was hoping for. Already been spanked and don’t need another one. Would rather snuggle. Uncomfortable position. Headache. Sore back. Sore bottom. Busy now. Too hot. Too cold. Too stingy, I wanted thud. Too thuddy, I wanted sting. Wrong room. Too long. Too short. Too high. Too low. Too far out on my hip. Feeling sick. Feeling tired. Wanted scolding. Scolding was distracting. Rationale is bogus. Didn’t get a rationale. Just don’t want to get spanked right now. Why can’t we do this later?
My thought, yeah do it later, take a rain check. Neither of us feels submissive to the other so taking a spanking to be submissive to the other’s desires is foreign to us. We always check with the other to see if they are in the mood. If things are not going as we want, we tell the other right away.

So I got a note from a guy. His wife has agreed to spank him, maybe not as long or as hard as he would like, but he is working with her to “improve” the spankings. He would like to be submissive to her, to give himself to her. But, she will have none of that.

I can relate to her feelings. I have had more than a few women that wanted to be submissive to me. I am not bragging, I am saying how desperate they were. All of them were successful in their own right. An RN with two doctorates, a CPA, etc.  I have never wanted any part in controlling another’s life. It’s all I can do to control my own life. 

So I can understand wives who signed up for traditional marriage, with traditional sexual boundaries who find after the vows have been exchanged that their husband has a few more vows – that he wants to be spanked and have her control him.

And it course works the other way, wives reveal they want to be spanked, controlled after marriage. Witness all the DD blogs.

We can ask for a spanking. That takes nothing away from it for us.


Consider that in marriages where punishments spankings are given, don’t you find it odd that only the submissive one ever needs to be punished? The dominant one never makes a mistake. Fucking incredible to me.

Most paddlings given to me by other women have been a disappointment to me. I explain in detail how I want it and they tell me they understand. And then bam right out of the gate they head in a different direction and I have to stop the scene. I make sure they understand that licks only go on the meaty section and the first lick is on my side. Scene ends.
Same with implements, there are dozens of types. We happen to have landed on wood. I was always about wood, no doubt from school. She came to wood by way of leather. There are damn few wood paddles that work for us. When we made them, we tested them on each other to see how they worked. I would get on the intercom and call her down to the workshop for a test. We communicated.
A belt Bacall bought for herself. It turned out to be more than she bargained for.
One of my jeans belt that I use on Bacall
Some paddles were tossed right away, others would be cut a little to see if that would improve them. When we got one we liked, she would finish it.
I can look a paddle and say it looks like it would work, but the proof is in feeling it.
All this to say, it’s an exceedingly narrow channel to find a suitable mate and another channel to find the right implement. As I am sure you already know.
After years and dozens of toys, these are our go-to favs
Her Toys
My Toys

The Other Day

We don’t write about all our spankings, because they are mostly all the same. They are always just the way we like them, but the descriptions would be boring to you if we posted about all of them.

The other day, Bacall came into the den and announced they she had gotten out some paddles, made up the bed, and for me to join her the bedroom where she would put some heat in my bottom.

I declined. I just was not in the mood. She accepted that I soon heard the sound of the paddles being put away. Or so I thought. She came back in the den and told me the sounds I would be hearing would be her paddling herself. It turned out she had put my paddles away and gotten hers out.

I suggested she paddle herself in the den so I could watch. And so she did. It went on for sometime before I suggested that I could be of some assistance to her.

She was ready and we both went to the bedroom, she went over my lap and I paddled her for a good long time while massaging her back.

It was a good stress relief for both of us.

Blistered Bottoms

I wish I could write a sexy tale about spanking like Ronnie frequently does. But, that is not me or Bacall.

A week or so back, Bacall was feeling bulletproof. I kept ramping up the paddle licks and she kept wiggling her bottom around and cooing inviting more and harder licks. After it was over, she saw that I was not using her holey paddle, but the stingy Teacher’s paddle. She was proud that she had taken so many licks with that paddle. She told me several times that day that she could still feel the residuals of the paddling.

Then she got the same thing three days later. She has been satisfied since.

I woke up from a morning nap thinking I needed a paddling. And not just any paddling. In my dream, I had on an athletic supporter. Not a sexy garment, but it has appeal for me as it seems that with the cheeks exposed you are just asking for it. And I was going to ask for it.

So it was going to be bare bottom from the start and to make it worse, my dream had the dreaded black paddle being used.

I put on the supporter, got the paddle and told Bacall that I needed to bend over the dining room chair and be paddled.

From the crack of the first lick, we both knew that something was different. It burned like never before. She was giddy with the sound the paddle was making and seeing me squirm. She could not keep from smiling and laughing.

After all these years, why did this paddling stand out? We can only speculate. You may recall she had foot surgery last September and just that week had got her new inserts. I am guessing the surgery plus the inserts gave her a firm platform and she was able to really get her hips into the swing for the first time in years.

After only eight licks, I felt well paddled and did not see any reason to continue. We retired to the bedroom.

Tie Me Up

One from the vault – a March 2011 post

Bogey writes: Yesterday, Bacall mentioned that I would need to tie her up today. I understood. In our early life, we had a hard time understanding each others needs because we did not communicate. After attending a few spanking parties we decided we could actually tell each other what we wanted to happen to us. I know that asking for a spanking is considered worse than shooting yourself in the foot for many, but it works for us.

Tie her up meant she wanted some light bondage and some heavier paddling. Got it. I mentioned things that might happen to her the rest of yesterday and continued teasing her today. She quivered a little each time. By late morning, she had worked herself into a darn good resemblance of a submissive lass.

Bacall writes: Today is a nice rainy morning, so what else do you do on such a day, but play.  We discussed it yesterday so as to build the excitement.  [Anticipation, trepidation, etc.] And what a morning it was.  I dressed in my Persian Slave Princess attire and was summoned upstairs where the spanking bench was waiting.  I was blindfolded and my hands were cuffed.  I was told to kneel down on the bench and the cuffs were attached to the bench.  Obviously I was not leaving that position.  Being blindfolded gives a sense of loss of control and kind of disorientation.  I did not know what would happened.  Well, that’s wrong, I knew exactly what was going to happened, I just didn’t know which implement was going to be used first.

First was the leather slapper.  It’s delightful for me, not too much sting but a wonderful slapping sound which is so important to the mind.  Of course, Bogey got a few “Oh’s and Ouch’s from me.  Then Bogey instructed me to give him deep kisses on his love muscle, which I was more than happy to do.  Next came the crop and I don’t know who enjoyed it more.  If something else was used, I just don’t know it because my mind was so into my bottom.  I got a break and was released from the bench.

Next we came back downstairs to our bedroom.  [Bogey interjects: Darling, you forgot about sitting in the chair with your legs held up high and getting eight licks with the batten on your inner thighs. I must not have done a very good job since you forgot. I promise to make it up to you] My panties came down and I bent over the bed and received pops with my holey paddle.  By then my mind was so into this, so Bogey used the red paddle, which I must say was completely satisfying.   And the rest — well you can figure that out.

The Panic Button

Some like a spanking where you have no control, and you reach the ‘panic button’ state.  Where you think it won’t end. It is most effective. Rapid licks OTK with a hairbrush is a time-proven method for an effective spanking. As Bacall says, OTK is great because “it’s right there”, meaning the bottom is so conveniently located and the application of a hairbrush is really easy. 

This is an edited version of an on-going conversation I have had with a woman who was spanked by her parents, established a  relationship with an “Aunt and Uncle” before she married and is also spanked by her husband.  The spankings by her “Aunt and Uncle” are for stress relief. Similar to the ones she got from her parents, they take her to her panic button quickly. The spankings from her husband are erotic.

On tears – It is not so much the pain that makes me cry when I get a real spanking, it is mostly my mindset when it happens. I want the release so I’m ready to just ‘let go’ and I don’t try to hold back. I know not everyone needs tears, but they do make me feel better. To me, adult spankings should be whatever a person wants and need to be satisfied. 

I’ll be honest, I can write things down that I’d never be able to say to someone about spankings. Its a lot easier to express my feelings to you, and I can only imagine the embarrassment I’d feel trying to say them in person. I’ve talked to a couple of other women who want real punishment spankings sometimes too, so I’m not alone in that, but I would guess we are in the minority. I don’t think of them as ‘punishment’ in the same sense it was when I was spanked as a teenager. Then I deserved to be disciplined for my misbehavior, but now they’re really my way of coping with emotional issues. I have a difficult time of letting go of sad and stressful things, and they sort of grate on me after awhile. A hard spanking isn’t going to kill me, but crying my eyes out does help on the emotional side, and its a lot cheaper than a therapist. LOL I think my husband would give me those spankings if I asked him to, but I know he really doesn’t want to. I was seeing my ‘uncle’ before I even met him, and when I figured out he was the guy I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, I told him everything. Thankfully he understood why I needed them so it hasn’t been an issue for us. He’s met my disciplinarian, and usually goes with me when I need to see him. He’s watched me get spanked a couple of times, but most often he sits in the next room until its over.  

You asked about anticipation and there is definitely quite a bit of that. Not sexual like with my husband, but I will admit there is a certain excitement that builds up when I know I’m going to see him, my “uncle”. Maybe excitement is the wrong word because its more like anxiety or a little feeling of dread, but I still get the butterflies in my stomach and feel that certain tingle in my bottom before it happens. A lot of the feelings are the same as when my Dad spanked me, but now I have a lot longer to think about them. I schedule a visit at least a week or two ahead so it gives me plenty of time for my imagination to run amuck and make me want to change my mind!  

I never purposely did anything to get a spanking while at home, but I knew if I got caught doing them I would get spanked, so maybe subconsciously I wanted to get spanked. I definitely didn’t enjoy being turned over Dad’s knee, and I certainly didn’t accept them very well. I think if we had been outside, everyone within two miles would have known Daddy was blistering my bare bottom! LOL 

Bacall Takes The Mound

Bacall writes:

I got a new pair of panties in red, so this morning I decided to try them out.  I fixed my face, combed my hair and put on the panties with a red bra.  I also got out two paddles, one of which is red.  The red paddle is very old but has not softened with age.  Sometimes my brain gets me in trouble.  I even got to pick the place to get paddled knelling on the couch. Isn’t Bogey sweet!

Bacall’s selections were the left and right paddles

So the session begins.  I kept saying “ow”.  Finally, I asked if he couldn’t hear me saying “ow”.  His comment, “Yes, I hear you. That’s how I know I am doing a good job”.  He’s also clever.

I guess I am a lucky girl.

                                   *    *   *

Bogey’s Turn The Next Day

We are easy to amuse. With a $10 pair of panties, we got two days of entertainment.

After breakfast, I showered and put on the red panties. Great fit and comfy. They are statin finished on the back and it felt really good to rub my bottom. 

I got out my old friends, the Principal, and Teacher’s paddles.

I wanted to be paddled bending over a chair in the dining room. Bacall gave me 8 with the Principal’s paddle over the panties. They provided more protection than I am accustomed to. Then, I think, another 8 with the panties down. Counting was getting confusing.

Next, I was back over holding the seat of the chair with my back arched and my seat sticking out for another 20 or so with the Teacher’s paddle. Neither one of us counted. I just know there were more licks than usual and they were hard ones. And so was I.

Bacall was a little disappointed that I did not feel my licks all day. 

The panties fit me much better than her so they will go into my drawer. We were hoping we could have another matching pair.

How Men Like To Be Spanked

Back in July, I answered the questions on a defunct blog about how men like to be spanked. [You don’t need to, but if you care to go back to that post it’s titled I Tell All.]

I wanted to see if the answers revealed anything that I considered useful. So I tallied up the responses to four of the questions.

15. Do you like to be spanked in role-play, real life situations, or no situation?

18. For true offenses, made-up ones or none?

21. While being spanked do you feel: turned on, enjoyment, satisfaction, pain, other.

22. While being spanked do you: get an erection, remain soft, leak fluid, orgasm.

Here are a few observations made based on the responses of 56 respondents.

22 men were only interested in being spanked for real offenses. 15 of those felt pain only. Most started out soft. All ended up soft.

Another 22 men liked to be spanked only in role play. 7 started and ended erect. 5 started erect and ended soft. 7 started and remained soft. The remaining 3 experienced an orgasm.

Spanking is always sexy to me. If Bacall tells me she is going to spank me my sexual response indicator goes up.

But this survey tells me, that some men only want to be spanked for real life offenses and they experience pain, not sexual excitement. Surprise to me.

Then there are those that only like to be spanked for made up reasons. This group reported it was sexually exciting.

I suspect that in the first group there are those who commit little offenses they know will earn them a spanking. Like going in the kitchen when the wife is cooking and making a smart remark. He knows that his well-trained wife will have him drop his pants so she can paddle him with a handy cooking spoon. He thanks her for punishing him. He knows that they can have make-up sex later. I don’t think this group belongs in the real life or role play category. Is there a bull shit category? How does the wife see it? Role play? She certainly can not believe she is having any effect on his behavior as he keeps doing it again and again.

Personally, I don’t need a reason to spank or be spanked. Bend over works for us. Bacall can go into role play in a heart beat and I do my best to be her foil.