Spanking on the Home Front

I have not written about our spanking lives in some time. The spankings continue, but with less frequency, especially for me. And for me with fewer and more moderate licks. I can blame it on aging. I can blame it on Leukemia.

I am too often tired and not up to paddling Bacall. I must paddle her in the mornings, as by noon, I am headed south energy-wise. Ya think meth would help?

She had been developing a bit of an attitude the past month and I told her several times that if it continued it would result in a paddling she would not like. She continued and I summoned up all my energy and gave her what for. It had been years since she had done so much lap dancing.

I felt a bit sorry for her red cheeks and I saw a seldom-used bottle of hand lotion and a rubber glove with ribs on the dresser. Using the glove with lotion feels really good, so I did. While she was cooing with delight the devil appeared and I picked up the paddle and gave another round on her wet cheeks. Oh my, did that set off the girly squeals?

I am happy that the paddling settled her down. Two days later I was in the bedroom and saw her coming down the hall. I pulled off my belt and she went over my lap for a short time. Things are normal again.

Taken last year

I Got Triggered

I was on a blog that I should have not been reading. This was the opening image.

You have no idea how such images piss me off. I just don’t care for submissive people, male or female. Submission is a weakness to me.

Yeah, I know this what a lot of men would relish. It’s also the stereotype women have of men who want to be spanked and that’s my prime objection. More than once women have avoided playing with me because they feared I would ask them to spank me. Being a male switch is tantamount to being ostracized, while female switches are prized.

If I never saw another image like this it would fine with me. I only like pictures that show both enjoying themselves – tears and expressions of anguish do not depict enjoyment to me.

Where’s my safe space?

Spanking Is Complicated For Most People

Long post with my thoughts on spanking relationships.

Warning: No spanking pictures.

I make no claim that what we enjoy is right for anyone else. My point is that the lack of honest communication and the desire to be submissive may not get you what you want.

Spanking Is Complicated For Most People and that’s because they make it that way. They feel they have to be submissive, so they can’t say what they really want.

I read this and wonder about it.

Yes, it really does hurt. But, as odd as this may sound, the pain is a secondary consideration. What we treasure more are feelings of connectedness, peace, and openness that follow.

Connectedness is a feeling of belonging to or having an affinity with a particular person or group. I suppose belonging to could be a submissive state of mind. And an affinity with a particular person or group could mean you are damn glad to have someone to spank you. All this seems to be overthinking it to me. I like to spank, I like to be spanked. It turns me on. No other rational is needed.

The only thing I have ever said about spanking that may be universally true is that once two people admit they share an interest in spanking that will be the last time they will fully agree on anything related to spanking.

The list of reasons for spanking goes on for novel-length. Atonement for misdeeds, connecting to another, submission, fun, etc. In our case, it’s directly connected to sexual pleasure. Sure, there is a sting, but it’s not perceived as pain to us. The sting goes from our backside to our brain for a little processing and to our front side. When I think of all the other reasons someone that likes to be spanked might have, it’s a wonder that Bacall and I found each other so compatible. We sure as hell did not have a list of spanking traits we wanted in the other when we met.
Disappointment in a spanking.  Yes, sure, it happens for all sorts of reasons. Too hard. Too gentle. Preoccupied. Not in the mood. Didn’t happen. Shouldn’t have happened. Delayed. Not the implement I was hoping for. Already been spanked and don’t need another one. Would rather snuggle. Uncomfortable position. Headache. Sore back. Sore bottom. Busy now. Too hot. Too cold. Too stingy, I wanted thud. Too thuddy, I wanted sting. Wrong room. Too long. Too short. Too high. Too low. Too far out on my hip. Feeling sick. Feeling tired. Wanted scolding. Scolding was distracting. Rationale is bogus. Didn’t get a rationale. Just don’t want to get spanked right now. Why can’t we do this later?
My thought, yeah do it later, take a rain check. Neither of us feels submissive to the other so taking a spanking to be submissive to the other’s desires is foreign to us. We always check with the other to see if they are in the mood. If things are not going as we want, we tell the other right away.

So I got a note from a guy. His wife has agreed to spank him, maybe not as long or as hard as he would like, but he is working with her to “improve” the spankings. He would like to be submissive to her, to give himself to her. But, she will have none of that.

I can relate to her feelings. I have had more than a few women that wanted to be submissive to me. I am not bragging, I am saying how desperate they were. All of them were successful in their own right. An RN with two doctorates, a CPA, etc.  I have never wanted any part in controlling another’s life. It’s all I can do to control my own life. 

So I can understand wives who signed up for traditional marriage, with traditional sexual boundaries who find after the vows have been exchanged that their husband has a few more vows – that he wants to be spanked and have her control him.

And it course works the other way, wives reveal they want to be spanked, controlled after marriage. Witness all the DD blogs.

We can ask for a spanking. That takes nothing away from it for us.


Consider that in marriages where punishments spankings are given, don’t you find it odd that only the submissive one ever needs to be punished? The dominant one never makes a mistake. Fucking incredible to me.

Most paddlings given to me by other women have been a disappointment to me. I explain in detail how I want it and they tell me they understand. And then bam right out of the gate they head in a different direction and I have to stop the scene. I make sure they understand that licks only go on the meaty section and the first lick is on my side. Scene ends.
Same with implements, there are dozens of types. We happen to have landed on wood. I was always about wood, no doubt from school. She came to wood by way of leather. There are damn few wood paddles that work for us. When we made them, we tested them on each other to see how they worked. I would get on the intercom and call her down to the workshop for a test. We communicated.
A belt Bacall bought for herself. It turned out to be more than she bargained for.
One of my jeans belt that I use on Bacall
Some paddles were tossed right away, others would be cut a little to see if that would improve them. When we got one we liked, she would finish it.
I can look a paddle and say it looks like it would work, but the proof is in feeling it.
All this to say, it’s an exceedingly narrow channel to find a suitable mate and another channel to find the right implement. As I am sure you already know.
After years and dozens of toys, these are our go-to favs
Her Toys
My Toys

Punishment Can Still Be Erotic

You know we don’t engage in punishment or discipline spankings. They are purely erotic for us from start to finish. We have always wondered why so many favor punishment. The majority of spankers and spankees are into punishment spankings. I saw this on the blog Pam Spanks Her Husband.

Although I don’t enjoy these punishment spankings during the event and try to avoid one for some time afterward, they are the ones I find most erotic. Afterward, with a sore bottom for at least two days, I get excited replaying how strict Pam was and imaging myself over her lap getting my just desserts again.

If I’m warned in advance of a looming spanking, the nervous anticipation builds, a mix of excitement and dread. But if she wasn’t super strict and giving me ‘real’ spankings, that same level of excitement wouldn’t be there. It’s my wife’s strictness that makes it arousing.

I think that explains how punishment spankings are still erotic as well as any explanation I have heard. It’s the thought of being controlled.

For the OTK fans, here are 10 web images for you


I Am Thrilled

I am thrilled to see that erotic and play spankings are well represented in the poll – 40%. It seems to me that discipline orientated Blogs predominate, but maybe erotic spanko’s are not so much for Blogging and are not well represented? Perhaps they are happy and see no reason to Blog?