Pervertables at the Habitat ReStore

Bogey & Bacall,

Wendy and I took a short trip to coastal southeast Florida recently to visit our daughter.  As usual, when we vacation and see a Habitat for Humanity ReStore, we stop in just to browse. This trip was no exception.

Some ReStores are stocked with junk which is not worthy of a second glance; ReStores located in coastal Florida are a definite exception – wealthy residents produce very nice hand-me-downs usually in excellent condition.

As we entered the store there was a volunteer stocking shelves from a small cart. Among the items in his cart was a smallish cheese serving board (I think that was the intended use), to me it screamed “paddle”.  Made from some light wood, about 3/8” thick, oval shaped “business end”, a little long for OTK but certainly suitable for a bent over spankee’s bottom – shaped very similar to the paddle shown in your “My Dream” post except the handle was a bit wider.

I saw the volunteer put the cheese board into an end aisle display bin in the kitchen items department; I noted the location for later in our visit.

Kitchen items were stocked on a series of shelves which ended near one of the exterior walls leaving a walkway so one could walk around the shelf ends into the next aisle when shopping. So the kitchen department aisles had a very public end and a fairly private end within the shelf layout.

There were a few other customers in the ReStore at this time, one couple in particular caught my eye because they actually had a shopping list – they appeared to be snowbirds that had just arrived and needed some specific items for their winter lodging. They were working methodically through the kitchen section and picking up their finds.  Early 60’s, not country club types, more like nicely aging Junior Leaguers, too pale to have been in Florida for very long.

I wandered back toward the bin where the cheese board had been placed – it was gone!  Oh well, we have a good supply of paddles already…..

I continued down one of the aisles in the kitchen section and got to the “private end” of the aisle just as the husband of the snowbird couple tilted his basket around the end of the shelves and showed the items to his wife who was facing away from me – the “cheese board” was right on top!  She glanced left and right as though checking for any witnesses – then she rubbed her fanny and nodded “yes”. She checked, but I saw her, her husband did not see me as he was still in his aisle, probably smiling ear to ear.

As we were headed out of the door a few minutes later, I met the woman……….. I could not resist, I said, “Enjoy your stay.”, then winked and patted my own bottom – she blushed scarlet! Just as I suspected, that cheese board will be put to an alternate use in the very near future. Hers? His? Both?  I gave her a thumbs-up and continued out the door.  I can imagine what she said to her husband.

It reminded me of the time, years ago, when Wendy and I bought our Fli-Back paddle at a garage sale and the older female seller knew exactly how it was going to be used. Wendy was also flushed when she got into our car that day – “Oh my God, she knows we bought this for spankings!”  My reply was, “Only on bare bottoms!”

Ya’ just never know what you’ll see at the ReStore!


One thought on “Pervertables at the Habitat ReStore”

  1. LOVED reading this! My husband and I have bought a few paddles this way too…and the embarrassment of someone potentially suspecting what is going on is simply delicious! XOXO

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