I’ll bet most media will be all over Valentine’s Day. It has always sucked for me. It started in grade school when everyone had to make a valentine for everyone else. Such bullshit, I knew many would never give me the time of day.
So here are some things that married folks can relate to. Well, we can.
Bacall hides behind the end caps
Gee, where can I get a llama?
Our Bottoms Burn 
“Bacall hides behind the end caps.”
I can relate to that!
W and I are “tag team” grocery shoppers – her with the cart, me with a smaller hand basket, I am sent on various “missions” to find things which are impossible to screw up – gallon of 2% milk, big jar of mayo, while she chooses fruit and veggies.
I will retrieve whatever items I have been sent for and then begin my search for her and a new mission assignment. Almost invariably a store employee will ask if they can help me find something as I cruise the store peering down aisles – I have a patented line which I use with those employees:
Me: “I am looking for the hardest thing to find in any store.”
Employee: “What is that?”
Me: “My wife!” Employee and I get a little chuckle and I continue my search.
I have found that if I control the cart, I control her movements. I like to shop. I find items that interest me.