Most Popular Posts

The first three most popular posts got hits simply because of the titles, not for their content.

It’s amusing to me that #1 is just a post about the many spanking pictures that are taken at motels. Must be lots of men searching for spanking pictures.

#3 gets so many hits because it’s confused with a very popular blog of the title name.

#4 the ever popular school principal fantasy.

#5 Finally one with decent content. A story.

Feb 23, 2010

Aug 15, 2010

Jan 5, 2015

Apr 20, 2016

Commentary – Safe, Sane, And Consensual Spanking

Once in awhile, I have to comment on the advice given on other blogs. 

First, This seemingly innocuous graphic was posted and people took exception to the work Hit. OK, Hit was not the best word to use. I took it as advice to newbies. Rather than go off on the choice of Hit, I think the experienced players should have supported the idea that the bottom is in control. There are always newbies and wannabe’s that need to understand that.

Safe, sane, and consensual were the bywords in spanking two decades ago. It’s seldom mentioned now. With all the violence that goes on in the streets of the world and the many who ignore laws and common etiquette. Let’s promote being good to each other in the bedroom.

I commented: I will ring in and say that for at least two of us the bottom is always in control. That may make us odd man out, but we would not have it any other way.

The bottom may make it seem that the top is in control. Or the top may be delusional that they are in control. Unless we are talking about a sub that has so much guilt that no amount of pain will suffice paired with a sadistic top, then the bottom is always in control.

Many bottoms use various subterfuges to get a spanking. They know the buttons to push and it works well for them. They have the illusion that they have given up control and that is very necessary for them. BUT, they also know that their spanker will not take them into a danger zone. They may have a safe word. And for those reasons alone they have not given up control.

I have spanked a few women. I can not recall a single one that did not start with how she wanted to be spanked in great detail. I encouraged it. Sometimes it was easy for them to explain in a story. They gave me control to do this, this and this, but not a damn thing else. I say she was in control. Afterwards, I was always “graded”. I did that just right, but a bit more of so-in-so next time would be appreciated.

Red commented:
interesting to read.. a safe word in case of actual danger, but when being spanked the spankee is never in control, at least in my case, and any other people I have read.
bottoms up

Well, Red you need to read some more. You have spent years cajoling your wife to spank you. That does not sound like she was ever in control. She is doing you a favor.

For your edification, I quote Zoë Ligon 

… spanking and other forms of impact play can be intense and potentially dangerous, so it’s important that people don’t think you can just randomly hit your partner during sex — engaging in impact play involves adhering to a set of best practices that ensure that all acts are safe, pleasurable, and consensual. …
  • Negotiate consent and boundaries.
  • Choose a safe word.
  • Incorporate tools and toys if that turns you on.
  • Engage in “aftercare” once it’s all over.
  • Forget that the person getting hit should be in control.
  • Strike the wrong areas.
  • Blur the line between consensual spanking and abuse.
  • Be afraid to continue your BDSM sex education.

That is the way I have always seen safe, sane, and consensual play described.

Second, he wrote on his blog: 

The advantage of a spanking is that it is a problem that is being solved. The spankee knows that they have done something that is necessitating the spanking. After the spanking, the problem is forgotten, but the sore bottom is a reminder to not do that specific thing again.

Really? It’s not working as he keeps getting spanked again and again for the same thing – such as him being snippy or short with her. They are happy with the arrangement. He likes to be spanked and prefers a real life reason and he likes sex after. Great, spanking and sex go together in my world. I get wanting to be spanked as punishment. But why the subterfuge of intentionally acting out to be spanked?

This works for them. That’s great. But I can not condone advocating the same for others. I don’t think intentionally annoying your spouse makes for a healthy relationship. I think that is especially true when a man cajoles a not dominate wife to spank him. Continual annoyance may bring divorce papers, rather than a hoped for spanking.

If she really wants to change his behavior, there are two ways.
1) No more paddlings until he quits the offensive behavior.
2) Have him masturbate, then immediately paddle him.

I don’t think that adult spanking modifies behavior one whit.

Last, I will close by saying that non-consensual spanking stories leave us cold. If I never see another story with headmasters, stable masters and strict uncles who spank their nieces, it will be fine with me.

We favor romantic consensual spanking.

OK, off my soap box.

The Keys To The Woodshed

I am really low on post ideas right now. And traveling has my mind elsewhere. So today all I have for you is a link to an older post about trips to our woodshed.

Yes, we have a woodshed. We don’t store wood for burning, only lumber, some wood working tools and two paddles to burn backsides. It’s short walk from the den door to the shed. It’s best done wearing only panties. Stop by anytime we are home for a demo of the tools or paddles.

The shed is doubly locked while we travel. The cute little paddle has Bacall’s real name on it. A friend made these for everyone at a party many years ago.

Other old woodshed links 

Saying Goodbye To The Woodshed

A Trip to the Woodshed

How Men Like To Be Spanked

Back in July, I answered the questions on a defunct blog about how men like to be spanked. [You don’t need to, but if you care to go back to that post it’s titled I Tell All.]

I wanted to see if the answers revealed anything that I considered useful. So I tallied up the responses to four of the questions.

15. Do you like to be spanked in role-play, real life situations, or no situation?

18. For true offenses, made-up ones or none?

21. While being spanked do you feel: turned on, enjoyment, satisfaction, pain, other.

22. While being spanked do you: get an erection, remain soft, leak fluid, orgasm.

Here are a few observations made based on the responses of 56 respondents.

22 men were only interested in being spanked for real offenses. 15 of those felt pain only. Most started out soft. All ended up soft.

Another 22 men liked to be spanked only in role play. 7 started and ended erect. 5 started erect and ended soft. 7 started and remained soft. The remaining 3 experienced an orgasm.

Spanking is always sexy to me. If Bacall tells me she is going to spank me my sexual response indicator goes up.

But this survey tells me, that some men only want to be spanked for real life offenses and they experience pain, not sexual excitement. Surprise to me.

Then there are those that only like to be spanked for made up reasons. This group reported it was sexually exciting.

I suspect that in the first group there are those who commit little offenses they know will earn them a spanking. Like going in the kitchen when the wife is cooking and making a smart remark. He knows that his well-trained wife will have him drop his pants so she can paddle him with a handy cooking spoon. He thanks her for punishing him. He knows that they can have make-up sex later. I don’t think this group belongs in the real life or role play category. Is there a bull shit category? How does the wife see it? Role play? She certainly can not believe she is having any effect on his behavior as he keeps doing it again and again.

Personally, I don’t need a reason to spank or be spanked. Bend over works for us. Bacall can go into role play in a heart beat and I do my best to be her foil.

Garter Belts, More Lingerie

Ronnie posted a clip of Michael Fassbender, who is apparently a heartthrob, buying lingerie. A few of the comments indicated that some women were not familiar with garter belts. Or perhaps they did not know that men liked them. I came of age when hose were being replaced by pantyhose. I like women in hose, so Bacall and I went garter belt shopping many times in our early marriage. She had all the colors. She wore the damnable pantyhose to the office, but would humor me and wear hose on our weekend “dates”. She got paddled every time.

I doubt any of Ronnie’s female readers will see this informational post on what one man likes, but perhaps a few readers will enjoy it.

The traditional black

 But there are many more choices

All that you need to do just before you both go out the door to dinner

Our View Of Consensual Spanking

I have several posts in mind that show how Bacall and I view consensual spanking and how it differs with the way others view it. I found this in my To Post folder and it says what we think. I recognize the latter part as my own. I don’t think I wrote the first seven paragraphs. The sentence construction is better than mine. I must have I found it on the net and rewrote it.

One of the conundrums of our interest is the reluctance
to ask for it. We learn before we can really talk, to “ask” for what
we want, those things that give us pleasure. But how do you ask for a
spanking? That’s punishment, pain, we are not supposed to want that.

So how to do ask for something that you want, but the very asking for
it makes it less desirable to you? You want to give up some control
and to feel controlled. So how do you top from the bottom? (And that’s
what has to be done). The bottom has to let the top know what they
want. There have to be some communications and some feedback. Just like
a back rub, we all want it differently. If I rubbed your back like I
liked my rubbed, it would probably not work for you. But unless you
told me, “higher”, “rub in a circle right there” and so on, I might
think I had given you the best back rub you had ever had.

Clearly, there needs to be some way for spanko’s new to each other to
talk to each other without “blowing the whole scene”. Both have very
strong fantasies and to reveal them would mean they are no longer a
fantasy, but a shared knowledge. I think some fantasies are best
locked away for private use. This does not mean that clues about the
nature of the fantasy can not be verbalized, in fact, they must be.

So how can topping from the bottom work, especially in a non-committed
relationship? (i.e. play between two people that have no romantic
interest, that may not even see each other again. To wit, play at a
party) Well, here’s a suggestion that might work on that level.

Let’s use a teacher/student relationship as the model. The teacher is
a classic authority figure – the teacher must be obeyed. If not, the
student will suffer the consequences. Notice also that this model does
not require any “baggage”, any emotional bonds. This could be the
students first day at a new school, no previous relationship is
needed. This is helpful to the role play as likes and dislikes can be
discovered without revealing any “secrets”. And everyone can play the
teacher/student model, without so much as a second thought.

Here is where the student can teach the teacher.
The student reports to the teacher for the spanking.

Yes, Julie, why are you here?
Mrs. Markston caught me smoking in the girl’s room.
And I was rude to her when she told me to put my cigarette out and come
with her.
I see. And what happens to any student that is caught smoking on
school grounds the second time?
They get spanked.
That’s correct, this is your second time and I am now going to spank

I wrote all that follows

Another way:
Julie come over here and look at these paddles (or whatever)
I want you to pick the one that you think you deserve.
I want you to be honest, this is a serious offense, so pick the one
that you know you deserve.
(Julie selects one)

Still another way and my preference:
OK, Julie, would you be more comfortable bending over the desk or
laying over my lap?
(Julie decides and assumes the position)
Julie, I am going to raise your skirt, as it would be meaningless to
spank you over your skirt, slip, and panties. You would not feel a
thing, would you?
No, sir.
The first swap is applied.
Julie, that swap was what I call a five, a medium swap.
I want you to tell me if you thought it was too hard or too light?
If you think it should have been harder, I want you to say a higher
number. If you think it was too light, then I want you to say a lower
number. Do you understand?
Yes, sir.
OK, then what is your answer and I want you to be honest.

This could continue by asking Julie if she has learned her lesson or
not after every 10 swats. Honest Julie would have to tell the truth. I have employed this many times on new bottoms. It works.

In this simple model, a great deal of what the bottom wants can be
learned on the first encounter, without the bottom giving up any deep
secrets or asking for a spanking. It should also be obvious that the
top has learned the bottoms limits, without exceeding them.

I enjoy emphasizing the erotic or role-play aspects rather than punishment or pain….. I enjoy giving pleasure to others and receive pleasure from knowing play has been mutually enjoyable.

I like reading the bottom’s responses, adjusting the spanking,
pushing them, then pulling back, letting them catch their breath just
in time for another onslaught.  Catching them off guard, then wearing
down their resistance. It is like dancing, it’s like acting. It’s art.
Knowing how to spank, where to spank, how fast, how slow, even, random,
patterned, unpredictable.  Listening, feeling, seeing the bottom.
Hearing the change in their breathing, feeling their body, seeing
their bottom redden. They let me touch their soul in away.  They make
themselves vulnerable to me. They put that responsibility in my hands.
Sharing base emotion with them. Showing the emotions that we usually
keep hidden away in our daily lives. Pain, fear, tears.
And then the aftermath of the spanking.

Taking them to that place in their mind and body where they are open
and exposed and totally vulnerable, then holding them.  Protecting
them. That is amazingly beautiful to me.  In some ways, it is like peeling
away layers to get to the pure essence. All the layers of protection
are drawn away, all the defenses are stripped.  That’s part of the
challenge and the beauty of a spanking. Seeing each layer. Knowing
how to peel it away. Which techniques will wear away the defenses
without destroying the precious soul at the center.

Retro Lingerie

This sort of lingerie was before my time, but remnants of it remained during my youth.

There was a girl in the seventh grade who wore a bullet bra. I doubt her Mother knew she did. No, I never saw her bra, just the effect it had on her sweater and me.

This was “porn” for me in the 60’s

I saw these type of pictures in male magazines that were popular in the auto repair business and in the first spanking magazine I saw at 19.

I think these pictures “warped” my mind. Yes, they must have as the following picture is one of my favs. She is not particularly good looking. The lingerie is not sexy. The setting is cheap looking. Still, I would love to go a round with her.

She looks better without glasses


You know what happens when I accumulate photos that are not related and I have no other ideas. It potpourri day. Now I am out of both photo’s and ideas.

I don’t know if that aircraft ever has the call sign Air Force 1 or not, but it is a special mission aircraft.

 Vintage for sure. Hotel room. What is the device on the headboard?

Yep, that about covers it

I saw this in a parking lot and it reminded me of announcements on my HS intercom. The dreaded “The following students report to the office” And you knew the paddle awaited you.

I will finish with these two tarts who are begging for a paddling.