Consensual Spanking

Consensual: existing or made by mutual consent without an act of writing.

I guess consensual includes men who talk their wives into spanking them for bad behavior. And that my friends, is where most F/M blogs live. The men commit a real life offence and earn a spanking. I can understand convincing the woman that the marriage will improve if they are spanked for improprieties so they can get the spankings they want. But, I wonder is a spanking as punishment a requirement for most folks? I get that most want some reason for being spanked. I am going to pick on my favorite spanking blogger, Ronnie. She devises a reason for her husband to spank her, but it’s never for bad behavior. To illustrate, she commented on a Spanko Brunch that she was spanked by the Head Chef for not completing my commis chef duties. That reason works for them.

not consenualIs this you?

Around here, spankings are consensual, but they are not earned. They are desired. They happen because we want them to happen. Bacall, come here and pull your pants down I am going to paddle you.

just-time no reason

Or Bacall brings me a paddle and allows that a few pops would be welcome. Or she puts on spanking panties and making sure I see them. Or she might just tell me that she would be agreeable to walking to the woodshed. .

So I am saying our spankings are consensual, but never for bad behavior. This works for us. Would it work for you?

In most spanking stories and spanking video’s, the spanking takes place as punishment. So I come back to my question, do most spankees need a reason for the spanking? Or put another way, would you be just as happy getting a spanking just because? We would be most interested in your answer. Feel free to comment anonymously.

One thought on “Consensual Spanking”

  1. I get spanked for all different reasons and get spanked just because….P wants to. You know me, I'll take any spanking:)

    In my opinion, doesn't matter, how, why or for whatever reason you are spanked as long as it's consensual and both parties happy.


  2. I follow Ronnie and yes she loves to get spanked (as I do too) Some times she finds a reason some times P spanks her because he wants to but usually gives her a reason. I get spanked because I'm submissive to my wife and I love presenting my bottom to her for spanking. She also loves spanking me and many times has told me to get her some implements so she can spank me. Now having said that I will also say she has given me punishment for real reasons and they are not play and no sex after just a good hard spanking the type you wish had not happened. Is the punishment consensual YES. I do have a temper and I do snap at her at times and too many times she will ask me to do something and I keep putting it off. Does the punishment change the problem. you better believe it does and for a long time. I follow many blogs here and each person that gets spanked or does spank has their own reason. I enjoy what they have to say and am happy they found a way to enjoy themselves.

  3. I don't do punishment spankings, at least not for me. I'm adult. I just like to be spanked. So I ask my wife and she spanks me. I am a switch but my wife is not into being spanked. That's ok. I love her and I can go with that. In the past I had a friend who wanted and needed punishment spankings. I have punished her. When we just playing I could wear her bottom out and not get a tear. When I punished her she was crying from the start. I guess it's all in the mind set of the individual.

  4. OK< as a bottom, I never need a reason to be spanked just love to be lost over the knee but at the same time having a reason can be a lap, it depends on the bottom, if she wants a reason I can easily find one but like a lovely friend I spank, she just loves to be spanked and her only reason is well to be spanked. For me, again I too love to be spanked, so not real reason needed.

  5. It is erotic spankings for me, exclusively. That is the only kind that my wife will give me. And that is perfectly fine, though I think I could accept a punishment spanking if that is what she wanted to give me. Yesterday morning I asked her to spank me at her convenience sometime during the day, and she soundly spanked me with a wooden paddle just before we went to bed. Yes it hurt a lot when it was being administered, as any good spanking should. Going to sleep with a warm bottom has a lot to be said for it. Of course, I thanked her afterwards and gave her a hug.

  6. Bogey – Happy New Year!
    I know your question is directed at spankees, but I will offer my thoughts as one who only delivers spankings; in case you are interested.

    There are different reasons why I give spankings; from fun to funishments, from erotic to strict discipline and punishment. What I have found very interesting and across the board in my experience is that even when funishments are delivered, the ladies on the receiving end always are more excited when a reason for the spanking is presented. Even if it is a silly one; as long as there is a reason it heightens the excitement.

    As far as stories go, reading about an entirely consensual pre-arranged spanking between a married couple would not keep my interest. Generally in stories, the less consensual the spanking the more exciting the story is to me.


  7. It seems to me that most people in TTWD need some kind of reason other than just enjoying being spanked. I started out just wanting to be spanked and I have found there is a good reason for me that I didn't expect: pain reduction. I have fibromyalgia and spanking helps. Also, a spanking is very therapeutic for me. There have been other reasons that have come up as well, such as the aftercare part of it and the nurturing I feel, but I don't have to have a specific reason. I don't need to be a brat, as some act that part, to get the spankings I want. I do schedule my spankings. I see one of the best pro tops there is (the best, as far as I am concerned) and for me it just hurts good.

    I have found, too, that I like to give spankings almost as well as I like to receive them. I didn't know I had it in me until I tried it. I don't need a specific reason for spanking someone other than they want one. I would prefer that to needing a real reason such as over-spending, or just being a brat. I prefer to have fun with it rather than getting into the discipline/punishment aspect of it. I suppose role play could be a fun way if that was asked for. Speaking of role play, it seems that for those who need a specific reason for a spanking, but not for something they have actually done, role play is one way for them to get the kind of spanking they want.

  8. Thanks for your thoughtful comment. It sounds like you have found your place in the world are at peace with it. Aftercare can give the spanker a high also and make for some lifetime memories.
    I knew a woman that, like you, got relief from fibromyalgia from spanking.
    Here's to more fun coming your way.

  9. Spanking is and always has been for me something for fun, pleasure, arousal and sex — an I'm 77 and still into it.

  10. I love spanking for no reason or for fun, even if it pushes my limits. I really dislike when it is used for “real life” offenses. Personally, that would be dangerous for my relationship. I really dislike the very severe, punitive spankings I see on a lot of FLR-DD blogs.

  11. For me there has to be a reason to give or take a spanking, because authenticity is what gives it the thrill.

    You know that by deliberately doing something naughty that a spanking will result and you also know as your bottom starts to burn that you deserved it.

    It is the same with Spanking fiction, you can read a great build up and then get turned off by a punishment that is inappropriate to the situation and OTT.

    I find it easy to provoke a spanking, an easy one is to leave towels on the bathroom floor or dirty clothes on the bedroom floor rather than the linen basket.

  12. My wife and I have enjoyed spanking as a form of sexual foreplay for more than 40 years, we are now in our early 60's.

    We started long before we were married with mostly her being spanked and me as the spanker. I was spanked as a child as punishment, and have had a sexual fascination with spanking for almost as long as I can remember; she was never spanked as a child. During one evening's sexual activity, I spanked her lightly on her bare fanny with my hand – she found it very erotic and arousing (so did I!) and later that evening she suggested that we experiment with a small paddle in the future.

    I made a paddle the very next day! Smallish, light weight, covered with artist's matte board and adorned with a photograph of a very spankable female bottom and several written rules for use – bare bottoms only, complete privacy, a “stop” provision for the spankee and consequences for the spanker if not heeded.

    Over time, various implements have been experimented with – a leather strap (quickly abandoned), once a thin coiled cloth cord formed into a sort of “cat-o-nine tails” (not satisfying), fresh cut switches (interesting, especially when we have spanked outdoors, mostly at night in secluded woods), several different wooden paddles (2 are now regulars)- our original paddle is still in use, so I guess that puts us in the category of “paddlers”.

    Over the years spanking frequency has risen and fallen, as have the roles of spanker and spankee. As we have aged, she has gained some weight and I believe is slightly embarrassed to have me watching her bare fanny as closely as is required during a spanking. So, I have become the primary spankee.

    When I am “in the mood”, I can simply suggest that I “need” a spanking, or sometimes I will place a card which I made from pen and ink art found on the internet where she will find it – the card features a drawing of a voluptuous nude woman spanking a man with a hairbrush and suggests that she do the same! She usually feigns offense and then “orders” me upstairs to get ready for a spanking. Strip, shower, shave and lay out the paddles for her. She will join me in the shower where there will be “inappropriate” touching and propositions made. Occasionally, she will surprise me and instigate the whole affair.

    I require a longer and more “severe” spanking than she ever did for it to be satisfying. However, never to the point of bruising. Our spankings have always been administered to each other's bare fannies and more often than not, with a paddle. I prefer to be paddled while bent over a chair or the end of our bed and we have established that when I begin to clench my bottom cheeks – it is approaching the time for her to stop, she will always add a few more strokes – about 50 or 60 swats with one of our smallish wooden paddles would be a normal spanking.

    Sex ALWAYS follows, and she still enjoys a very light hand spanking during intercourse if she is on top – frequently a little light spanking is what she needs to send her “over the top”.

    So to answer the question, “just because” is the only reason we have ever spanked each other unless one counts general horniness as a reason.

  13. We never have a reason for spanking and it only happens when I ask my wife for it. I personally don't think it is healthy for me to have a punishment/dominating thing about it although I do understand that for some people the punishment is a kind of game and not really real.

  14. I spank X because he feels a craving for it and get filled with a carnal desire to cane him till every inch of his ass is marked. There are reasons why he gets them it pushes him through writers block, helps with weight loss, and reassures him that he isstrong enough to handle life's vicissitudes. After all if he handled 100 strokes of the rattan why expect that his abusive boss will be impossible to survive.

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