Last month I tried to put down my thoughts about pain and submission. I give myself a C for effort. My points did not come across. We remain amazed that some endure pain only to be submissive.
An anonymous wrote: It’s not really a spanking if the spankee decides when to stop. That decision should be left up to the spanker, IMO.
That is not even remotely close to the theme of this Blog. We are only into consensual spanking. The spanking stops when we want it to stop. If it stops before we are ready, we ask for me. Real simple to us.
Hermione wrote:
I have to echo what Lea said. I also enjoy being pushed to my limits, and submitting is part of the enjoyment of spanking for me. I know I am not going to be treated brutally, and have every confidence in my loving partner to judge when I have had enough. To each his/her own, as always.
That’s fair. We sometimes like our our limits pushed. The difference is that we let each other know when that is on our mind. I suppose that some people are mind readers. We don’t have that ability. I also suppose that some spankers can read the bottom and know when they have had enough. I fail at that more than not and always on the easy side Bacall will sometimes back off, when she needs to stay the course. Hence we have learned to express ourselves.
We talk to each other, verbally and non-verbally to get the spanking we want. Yeah, I know that is not something a submissive could do. Think of Erica, could you say she is a submissive? Does she get the spanking she wants? I am just saying that old fashioned conversation about needs is perfectly alright in between spanking partners.
As I said before, submission is intoxicating. It’s just not something that we can completely do. We are both take charge types
Our Bottoms Burn 
It would be good to be in a relationship of mutually spanking but it did not happen to me so i am happy with exposing my submissive side to obtain the spankings I crave.
I am fortunate.
Everyone is different. I have to agree with Hermione being pushed to the limits is great. P decides when I've had enough not me and that's the way I prefer it.
Love,
Ronnie
xx
I'm with you so far. We're new to TTWD, but I don't think my husband or I are ready to push limits without complete consent…
I think that even for people who have been married for a long time it takes time to figure out the comfort level in pushing the boundaries. We are struggling with that even thought we have been been married almost 19 years. It a ne level of comfort and trust that takes time to develop- on both parts.
Conversation is great. It's definitely one of the most straight forward ways to go about things. But it's not always easy to directly put into words what I want. That's where reading body language and each other's signals comes into play, for me. It's also really dependent on my mood and what kind of spanking I'm wanting. There might be times when something is more playful and I say “okay give me 20 with this toy, and 10 with this toy.” But there are other times where I might be in a different headspace and just want the top to take charge of it. There is no wrong way. Only our own ways.
Fine, I was talking about how we handle it and suggesting it might work for some people.
Sometimes you may not want to go to your limit. Just saying that talking is healthy.
Our limits have evolved. In the last year, my limit has gone down and hers has gone up. What once was normal is no longer.
Enjoy, don't endure. Talk about it. Talk is sexy.
I fully agree with you. I would suggest that each attempt at talking about will get easier. Also non-verbal signals can help. What Bacall wears tells me where her head is because we talked about it once.