I have seen three posts on switching recently. Erica started it off when she wrote about the unlikely need for tops to bottom, and vice versa, to understand the dynamics. I agree. You should enjoy and relish the position. That’s the only reason to assume either position.

I love both positions. I am drawn equally to both. I am turned on by both. I do not want to be dominated. And beyond what I term bedroom submission, I don’t want to dominate anyone. As for anyone dominating Bacall, well be in good shape and bring a lunch and she might go a few rounds with you before sending you packing.

I want my spanker to be happy and spirited. I want her to smile and swing the paddle with gusto. When I suck in my breath after a paddle lick, she might remark Oh that was a good one wasn’t it? Many women enjoy teasing a man to pleasure with their mouth and palms. I like the same kind of talent and energy from a paddler.

Most of the women I have encountered look down on male switches, since the way they think, they can not bottom and still be manly. Well, I was never as broad chested as John Wayne or Robert Mitchum, but I am as tall, with a low voice that can chill ice water and piercing brown eyes. In short, I look the part and I can be a dom with the best of them – when I want to.

[I used actors that well known to my generation, rather than wimps like Justin Bieber who seem to the rage of the current generation. Both men could look menacing, but were always gentlemen. Put it this way, back a 35 yo Wayne in a corner and if you were male, expect your lights to go out and if female a spanking]

In the last few years Bacall has become completely comfortable with both of us getting paddled during the same session. We both get turned on giving and receiving.

I have written before that at parties I hid my desire to be paddled since most women avoid bottoming with male switches so they will not be asked to reciprocate. It’s verboten.  I tired of the masquerade. I was not getting what I wanted and I quit the parties.

Kaelah wrote that she prefers to play with switches. Well, I would too. The facts are that there are many male switches and precious few female switches. Enjoy Kaelah.

You might think that since Bacall switches we might encounter other compatible couples. That has not been the case. Usually we have found that the man much prefers to bottom and be dominated. Not our cup of tea.

Of course, finding a women who relishes wielding a paddle is difficult and most that try have no clue how to paddle. They may say that they are experienced, but I have stopped more than one session because the woman was careless in her aim. Being hit on the side is no fun.

Switches can not be all bad. Erica’s long time lover is a switch. She does not top him, but she loves him. Her current spanker is also a switch who she gives high marks to as both a skilled spanker and as a caring, compassionate person. I always thought the latter traits led to the former.

There was a third post about switching posted to I Am A Secret Spanko. I read it and bookmarked it to go back to. When I returned I found it is now an Invited Only Blog. I know of no way to get invited. And so it goes.

To women that are unsure. Want a back rub? Give one.

9 thoughts on “Switching”

  1. I am absolutely with you Bogey, in that I don't see why switching should make a man less manly. For me, switching makes a man more attractive.

    Secret Spanko's blog has gone public again, by the way! So, you can still read his take on the topic. 🙂

  2. My feelings exactly Bogey, I was a spanker for many years, then a few years ago it came to me that I might like to be spanked as well. I tried it and was hooked, I enjoy switching. I consider myself still primarily a spanker, and since there are, as you say, very few ladies who spank, most of my being spanked is fantasy. I don't advertise that I switch because again, as you say, most women are not interested in switches, but view them as wimps and subs. I am not that way, I identify more with John Wayne than I do with someone like Justin Bieber. Thanks for posting this, since I identify very closely with your feeling on the subject.


  3. I have no problem with switches. The people, not the stick kind. 😉 I bottom only and I have been asked to top before and politely say no because it's not my thing. I think everyone is entitled to their preferences. If someone likes both sides of things, great! Sometimes I think if I did top I'd stay more entertained and busy at parties because I'd have something to do when my wussy bottom was worn out. Lol.

    Seriously though, a lot of my favorite people to play with are switches. I don't reciprocate, because I don't top, so when I play with them they are tops to me. But what they do outside of our own scene makes no difference to me. I think it's a shame if someone feels they can't admit what they like to do, but I have heard thoughts similar to what you stated before.

  4. There is sometimes an assumption that switches (the people) don't take roles as seriously as someone who picks a role and sticks with it. I'm not agreeing with it but just saying something that's often said.

    There are also people who want to pass themselves off as switches but really use it as a way to brat or cheat…like going to a party, bratting someone, and then trying to top that person.

    But I think some of the best tops are switches or used to be bottoms because they know what it's like on the other side.

  5. If you ever top at a party, you will find yourself asked to top every other man. That is one reason why women don't top at parties.

    Yes, I agree not being able to be who you are is no fun. That's why I refused to do it any longer.

  6. Yes, I'm back. Sorry about that. I little privacy scare. over now. I made the blog private for a week or so and no one got an invite. But I'm back in it.
    I'm convinced that I'm not that much of a switch. I get something out of it, but not like I do giving a spanking. However, I'm proud of the fact that I have switched and think that more tops should be too. Thanks for the mention. I will post a follow up (sort of) to the SecretSpanko-Erica-ludwigrorshtoc- um Kaelah- series about switching later tonight!

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