Pain and Submission

We read the responses to a MBS Brunch on self talk when taking a spanking. That was something new to us. We don’t talk to ourselves. Each other, yes. As in, you hit me there one more time and….., or harder please, or not so hard please.

We don’t endure spankings. We enjoy them. We ask for spankings just like we want them. There is no submissive dynamic going on. Well, damn little anyway.

These are a few of the comments we read that showed how different our spankings are to the way others experience them.

When I am spanked, I focus on each stroke and repeat “You can take one more.” Using that phrase gets me through most hard spankings.

We often want more and we may ask for it. And if we are done before the spanker thinks we are done, we speak up and end it.

…if I am receiving 24 strokes of the cane and I have taken 18 knowing that I have only 25% left helps me endure the remainder.

No enduring here. If we ask for 24, we look forward to each one. If not, we end it.

And from a reader here:

I think she uses both hands but don’t like to ask. I did mention once that “your supposed to be spanking my bottom not burying a nail” but I wished I hadn’t.

We understand the concept of submission. It can be very attractive and even intoxicating. But, we just can not see letting go of mutual consent. We want it like we want it and will not settle for less.

13 thoughts on “Pain and Submission”

  1. I agree that M/F is often taken for granted as the only type of spanking that happens. It is nice to see other types represented.

    And, well…punishment spankings are another story, but it sounds like you don't have to deal with those. 🙂

  2. We appreciate your understanding our way. Submission is a expansive word, it goes from bending to a lover's will for some things at some times, to being a doormat, to accepting brutal pain and humiliation.

  3. There is some value and excitement to uncertainty and that, for us, is worth not having complete recipient control over everything. The mutuality and consent is still there but . . . one does give up control to another whom is loved and absolutely trusted. Role playing, giving up control to some degree also have value for many of us. In most couples one or the other is somewhat dominant in all the small but critical things of life and this is one place where the dominant can give up that role.

  4. Sometimes I like to be pushed to the limit and I'm kind of a wuss so that's not easy to take. It's still consensual though, always. I only do so with partners who know how far they can go. As with most things, to each their own. Spankings can be very enjoyable for me as well, but some are more intense than others.

  5. Hi B&B,I`m David who wrote about complaining your supposed to be spanking my bottom not burying a 6″ nail.Well I only get punishment spanks plus maintenance on Monday nights,so I never have any say its not buffet where you can pick and choose.I get what my good lady thinks I deserve after I thank her and say if you feel I would benefit from further punishment it would be well deserved she then weighs it up then either I get another spanking or the cuddles begin .We`ve been doing this for 40yrs now it seems to work ok for us yours david davetouchingtoes

  6. Uncertainty can be a turn on for sure. With us, the desire to be taken to new territory is expressed in advance and then full-filled. We are not trying to be critical of the way others play, but trying to show that there are other ways to play and that conversation can be a turn on in itself.

  7. OK David, we don't do punishment. So it would be most difficult for us to think that way.

    We are not trying to be critical of the way others play, but trying to show that there are other ways to play and that conversation can be a turn on in itself.

  8. I have to echo what Lea said. I also enjoy being pushed to my limits, and submitting is part of the enjoyment of spanking for me. I know I am not going to be treated brutally, and have every confidence in my loving partner to judge when I have had enough. To each his/her own, as always.


  9. We all do. My point is that a conversation can take place to indicate what you want today. Conversation and submission are not mutually exclusive. At least not in my zipcode.

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