First, I know that my serious posts don’t attract much attention. But, I do want this Blog to be more than pictures of men and women being paddled.
Second, I understand this is not a great forum for such questions, but I don’t know of a better one.
So here goes and if you have an answer or opinion to any of these questions, please ring in.
1) Many that enjoy a bottom warming, like the cathartic release that crying can give. Why do so many men think that force is the way to tears?
2) What is the fascination with marked bottoms? My preference is to not to see marks that will last for more than a few hours. I like a fresh canvas for the next paddling. My experience is that most do not mark even with a rather long and hard paddling. I also know that some will mark from a single lick and the marks may last for over a week. I know that women like to look at their marks and are sorry to see them fade. So to my question, what is it with men who get off on marks?
3) I see more female faces in home spanking movies than males. Why is that?
4) I don’t get the money shot. A staple of porn films has always been withdrawal and then to masturbate so the cum falls on the woman. That is exactly the time when withdrawal is the farthest thing from mine and Bacall’s mind. What is the attraction to seeing this?
5) I don’t understand facials. Why do men want to do this? There has to be some level of imagined humiliation in it. Why do I see pictures of women smiling with cum on their faces in their hair, etc. Yes, it’s only protein. Any women want to take a crack at enlightening me what the dynamic is here. Please.
6) What is with men who want to be slaves to women? [That goes the other way also] But, with men there are some who want do not want conventional sex at all. They want to be locked up in a chastity device and allowed a ruined orgasm once a month or so. Some want to be the cuckold and seek a man to service their wife. I don’t get it.
Our Bottoms Burn 
Your answers to one and two is that is the way some people are wired to like it that way. Your preference is not the preference of others. There are all kinds of different fetishes. Some vanilla people wouldn't get that u like whata you do.
The answer to three is men buy and watch more porn than women so they tend to show females.
The money shot is to show the guys came. It is the same way they fuck in awkward positions so you can see the cock in the pussy.
If they smile in porn movies, they are doing it to please the customer and to get hired for more porn movies. Doesn't mean they like it.
six is like one and two. Some men are wired to like being slaves to women. You don't get it because it isn't your fetish. But some men prefer it.
FD
Well, as I am sure your wife has said many times, it's a man's world and they are pretty strange animals.
It must be time for us to die out now and leave the world to the ladies. What with vibrators,AI and sex selection it must seem fairly pointless to most young women to have us around any longer.
The answer to 1-6 is quite simple: weirdos. Why they can't just be sensible and get some shorts and white socks is a complete mystery.
I happen to agree with you on all six and also think there is a deep, underlying disrespect for women in much [not all] porn including the spanko genus. Those who value women as equal have some problems accepting others who do not. There is a difference between sexuality and play in which both enjoy equally and that in which one aggrandizes the other for self-satisfaction. Your six queries throw a bit of light on that.
Hi,
From my perspective…
1) I'm much more apt to cry from mental anguish than physical. Daddy has had me in tears faster than anything without even touching me when I've thought I've disappointed him.
2) Daddy is in agreement with you. He gave me a bruise accidentally one time and he was very upset about it. I tried to reassure him that I didn't mind, but it didn't matter what I told him. HE didn't like it. He can give really good spankings and not mark me. In fact, somehow I can feel them a day or so later, but there is no visible evidence.
3) I don't watch home spanking movies.
4) I have no idea. Florida Dom's idea sounded reasonable.
5) Thank goodness Daddy doesn't have the desire to give me a “facial”, lol! What a waste, in my opinion;).
6) Well, I want to be Daddy's slave, but not the kind of slave that's out in the fields picking cotton, but as the woman that adores Daddy, is devoted to him, loves him to the best of my ability. In my mind, it's a positive. But, Daddy treats me wonderfully, so I'm probably biased about the Master/slave relationship.
Love,
Kitty
First of all, the world wide web has it strength because of the anonymous surfing.For a visitor to comment on your blog, or even more share some personal thoughts they must not only reveal themselves but also make a choice in investing time. It is my experience (in blogging) that you will always enter a point where you can get frustrated about the silent amount of visitors. I always try to see that as a compliment, the fact that they visit my blog must mean something. And every now and ten when someone does respons it gives a extra special light in my day.
Then to add something to the questions you asked. I am sitting here with a glass of wine, my husband just called to say that he his boss does not let him drive home after working more then 12 hours (which I can understand since he has to drive a really large distance to get home after work) and I dont feel the urge yet to go to bed. So why not invest in your questions why zipping and enjoying my wine.
1) Many that enjoy a bottom warming, like the cathartic release that crying can give. Why do so many men think that force is the way to tears?
Maybe it is because I am more a masochist and I dont find myself in spanking in a domestic way, not as a method to bring me back to my senses nor as a consequence for any 'wrong' action f mine…but I little feel the release in crying. I seldom cry in spankings since for me the spanking has to give me a release in a different way. I dont think at all that force is the way to tears (but then again..I am a woman :-))
I do know that my husband gets moved when seeing a tear in our intimate bdsm moments (we experience more then spanking only), for him it is a very special sharing of emotions from me which moves him. But crying from pain or guilt would for sure drive him away from whatever we are experiencing in the moment. This does not work for the both of us.
2) What is the fascination with marked bottoms? My preference is to not to see marks that will last for more than a few hours. I like a fresh canvas for the next paddling. My experience is that most do not mark even with a rather long and hard paddling. I also know that some will mark from a single lick and the marks may last for over a week. I know that women like to look at their marks and are sorry to see them fade. So to my question, what is it with men who get off on marks?
It took me years to be able to accept it when sometimes the day after there was a tiny marking visible. I have been in a abusing relation for years and markings to me were connected to negative feelings, so when my husband and I met and we experienced spanking for the first time I had told him already to take care not to leave markings. Since I knew they would confront me with a sad feeling I did not want to get confronted with, I know it seems strange since these markings does not have anything to do with the abuse in the past but somehow my mind is not able to make that difference.
Luckily I dont mark easily, I know my husband sometimes would love to see a little marking the next day (and I have grown to a fase where I can accept a marking without the negative impact it had on me before) but there almost never are markings. This does not mean however that we tend to make the spankings harder in order to get to those markings. Also I am not like the woman who love to look at their markings, and if I do have markings I am not sorry to see them fade.
(follow up on my entry before)
6) What is with men who want to be slaves to women? [That goes the other way also] But, with men there are some who want do not want conventional sex at all. They want to be locked up in a chastity device and allowed a ruined orgasm once a month or so. Some want to be the cuckold and seek a man to service their wife. I don’t get it.
I dont see myself as a slave from my husband, however we are involved in a relationship with some powerexchange. I feel comfortable with that, I am not really an active sexual partner. I can flirt, seduce and tease and a men mad that way but I almost never felt attracted in be the leading part in sex. I love it when a men takes control in the sex, but this has to be done with respect towards me as woman and person. As far as the needs and desires men experience (as you mention in your question) I think there are men who just love to get surprised and get bored easily with conventional sex.
I hope my time and effort, as much as answering the questions, did leave you with a nice feeling that your blog was read 🙂
Bye
Femme Fessee
I'll take a stab at 4, 5 and 6 – just giving my thoughts.
4) The reason for the money shot is that men, who are generally more “visual” than women, are the ones who the porn is created. They want to SEE that the man achieved his goal – the orgasm. You are correct that in real life, pulling out and wanking it yourself is less than satisfactory, but porn is not real life or anything close to it. Now, there are “creampie” videos out there, but those are a little more specialized. Still, the money shot gives the viewer the actual visual evidence the man got to come. (Ever wonder whether a woman came in porn video? Many people they are faking them, because you see no visual evidence.)
5) The whole “facial as humiliation” thought process is somewhat confusing to me, but I think I get it. There are many women who do not like cum – will not swallow, think it's gross etc. This confuses me in and of itself, but be that as it may, these women are out there. So, yes, for THOSE women, cumming on them, especially their face, is a form of humiliation and I'm sure there are also men who like to see that humiliation.
On the other hand, there are women who love cum. Love to swallow. Love to eat it. Many facial porn videos do show the women enjoying it. However, I think that the “facial” is strictly a porn thing because, again, you get to SEE the cum. If the porn guy simply came in her mouth, with her mouth closed, and she swallowed, you wouldn't get to see any of that. People would not necessarily believe it happened, nor would they get any enjoyment out of seeing the cum.
6) Now this one is easy – it's psychological! Power exchanges are soooooo much more about the relationship than the actual sex that occurs. Male chastity is about many things, but it's mainly about the woman controlling the man. It's that control that is the attraction.
Now, why do some men like the power exchange? Well, that's impossible to explain. It's just like asking why a person likes steak. It tastes good. Why does a guy like being a slave? It feels good. It's all for the person. You have a post about wearing panties. You admitted that you weren't really sure why you liked wearing them.
You ask questions for which I have few definitive answers, but as always, I have plenty of opinions. 🙂
1) That's the easy answer and the obvious explanation – physical impact leads to emotional relief. But reality is a bit more complex.
The emotional benefits of a spanking are indeed tied to the physical pain. The pain is a prerequisite. But how that pain is interpreted depends upon lots of other factors that are not primarily physical. There is a headspace that must be achieved before positive feelings can arise. It's not possible to shortcut this process by pounding away.
As for why men get this wrong, I can only speculate. Many men (including my husband) tend to prefer that processes (and people) be simple, predictable, and well documented. Randomness is a source of frustration. What worked before should work again. Unfortunately, there are parts of the world that don't follow these rules. A woman's emotions top the list. Hopefully, most men figure this out eventually, but few go without a struggle.
2) I would guess that the marks provide visual evidence that a spanking happened. I remember years ago when Randy and I bought a grainy spanking video on VHS. After a single viewing, we decided that the spanking was fake and the actors were not spankos. The woman's bottom was colored with rouge that came off on the spanker's hand! Whether a video or a still, when a spanking is depicted, I want to know that someone actually felt it. I suspect many men might give a similar answer.
3) If we're talking about M/F videos, it seems natural to focus on the spankee. Her reaction to the spanking is, for me, at least as interesting as the spanking itself. I haven't seen enough F/M or M/M videos to have any opinion about them.
4) I agree. I prefer that happen inside me because it represents a symbolic renewal of the bond between us.
5) Ditto. It's not our thing, but if people like that, so be it.
6) Again, it's not my kink. But there are lots of people who think that spanking is extraordinarily weird, so I choose not to judge.